Level 4 – Mission 5: Positive side coaching

Mission objective:

Positive side coaching

Mission background:

Individual often take on specific roles in teams or in interactions with a partner, some will become the jokers, some whiners, some are aggressive, others are diplomats etc. The role that individuals adopt is however not the same as their personality, but a context specific social construct. Anyone at anytime can make another expressive choice, break their routine role, if they want to, and thus change the dynamics of that specific interaction. The other party’s reaction is hard to predict, but they for sure cannot respond the same way anymore.

Mission instructions:

Choose another target, someone you wish would change their behaviour. You might have recognized certain behavioural traits of that person that you would like to get rid of, that is good. Also make it very clear to yourself what kind of behaviour you would like to witness in the future. If for example you would want them to stop whining and complaining, it is not enough yet, you must also define that you would like them to first start to tell you about positive things and in the end celebrate success. You have two simple tools:  Ignoring and encouraging. So, start with ignoring all unwanted behaviour and encouraging every little step towards the goal you have defined, using all you have learned in previous agent levels! If you are being consistent you will see the changes occur step by step. Report the outcomes.

Mission report

Complete the mission by writing down observations like:

  • What changed in you?
  • How did other people react?
  • What else caught your attention?

Have fun comparing what other recruits wrote!

6 thoughts on “Level 4 – Mission 5: Positive side coaching

  1. Pink Panther says:

    This was difficult but I will continue trying to make it work, so far I have got nice contact with couple of new people and that is already good.

  2. Snow says:

    I tried this with our surgical team member that everyone is a little afraid of, she is always very critical and finds faults everywhere. So I decided to just give her good feedback after we finished a difficult operation and tapped her on the shoulder and said something like ”I really liked what you did in the end to solve the crisis situation!”
    And I was totally in awe of the impact: She melted to a endearing smile and thanked me warmly and was treating everyone friendlier than ever the whole day!

  3. Carlsson says:

    At first I thought this is too simple but really surprised of the outcomes, people are so happy to get positive feedback, almost hungry it seems.

    • Swanlake says:

      I used this on a colleague, with whom I have communicate quite regularly at work. I can only describe him as a pessimistic perfectionist. Most disturbing to me, when talking to him, has been the way he belittles himself in every possible conversation. I tried positive side coaching with him couple of times. I ignored the belittling comments and didn’t react at all. I always latched on any, even slightly, positive comment he made about himself, his abilities or basically anything and asked him to tell me more or gave a positive reaction to those. By the end of the third conversation we had I noticed that the number of times he said something belittling about himself had dropped. He still did it at times, but because I didn’t react to those like I previously had, the remarks were shorter and he quickly moved on to other topics. So I’ve actually learned a great deal more about his professional and outside of work interests in these conversations, than I have in the past year.

      I also noticed that at least I was much more relaxed and positive towards him after the third conversation, than I had been previously. It was nice not to listen to someone put themself down for no apparent reason. So it alsi affected my attitude, as it helped to lift the pressure from me to try and encourage or comfort him. The overall tone of our conversations has turned more positive, as the amount of complaining has dropped.

      I liked trying out this strategy and will use it again in the future

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